


Elevator Shenanigans

by Sisila_galad



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kissing, M/M, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 07:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sisila_galad/pseuds/Sisila_galad
Summary: John Deacon is your every day electrician. He wakes up in the morning, drinks lukewarm coffee, then spends the rest of his day dealing with faulty wiring and avoiding his coworkers.Freddie Mercury is your every day up and coming superstar. His band is possibly falling apart, his manicure is chipping, and to top it all off the TV in his hotel room is broken.Sometimes a Deus ex elevator isn't so bad a thing.(Or I don't know how elevators work but really wanted to do something based on Queen getting stuck in an elevator in the 1970s.)





	Elevator Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This has been rotting in my drafts for too long. If I have to look at it one more time I think I'll scream, so here it is, with love from me to you! As always comments and kudos keep me running, so enjoy!

It had been a long day, a very long day for John. First his alarm hadn’t gone off that morning, meaning he hadn’t had time for breakfast, and then he had forgotten his wallet at home, so he had to walk to work, which hadn’t been too bad until it began to pour like a monsoon when he was too far from his flat to run back and get a raincoat, but too far to his work to stay dry. As it was, he got to work 15 minutes late and soaking. His schedule for the day was full, so at least he hadn’t had to stick around the shop for too long, and pretend not to hear how the other guys talked about him. 

Apparently having hair longer than your ears and actually taking showers more than once a year labeled you as an outcast among his coworkers, who were already on the fringes of society. 

His jobs for the day hadn’t been the greatest either. His first stop for the day had been to a paranoid woman who had stuffed all her valuables into the one room with the electrical panel. After she finally agreed to let him move her things, she watched him like a hawk to make sure he didn’t steal anything. Running diagnostics for an hour had not yielded the problem. She finally told him that she called because the drain under her sink had clogged up, and John had to spend another hour explaining the difference between a plumber and an electrician. When he left he still wasn’t sure she understood. 

The jobs after that weren’t fantastic, but at least he could lose himself in wires and current. It was like a puzzle just waiting to be completed, and it always amazed John how just connecting wires together could cause an entire house to function differently. By the end of the day John’s foul mood from this morning had faded away, he might even say he was happy. 

John was driving the company van back to the shop when he got a call on the car phone. 

“Hello?” John hoped it wasn’t more work, as much as he loved his job he was tired and still a bit damp and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep.

“John, glad I got a hold of you,” His boss sounded too cheery for what John knew he was going to ask, “We have another job, and all the boys are busy. I know it’s short notice but this is a high priority.” John had to hold back a sigh, apparently, his flat was still a far-off dream. “You know I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. This hotel called me, apparently they’re pretty swanky and one of their guests complained about their TV not working. Said it was pretty dire.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m an electrician, not a TV repairman, what do you expect me to do? And besides, don’t hotels have maintenance men for all that?”

“Their maintenance man is out with the flu, and we’re the cheapest outsourced labor they could find. John, I know you know electronics like the back of your hand, you’re the only one on the team who does. Surely a TV should be child’s play for you.”

John guessed he could say goodbye to an early night in, but he had missed tinkering with electronics, and could probably get the TV sorted out in no time. Maybe if he really hurried he could still get home before it got dark. 

“Alright, what are the directions?”

His boss was all too happy to read them out, “Thanks, John, this is why you're my favorite.”

“No, you just like my ass in tight pants, my personality is a bonus.” His boss sputtered on the other line and John smirked. If he had to work overtime, then he had a right to be a bitch about it. 

The drive to the hotel wasn't that bad at all, it was definitely in a nicer part of town, and towered above the buildings beside it. The Bohemian Respite, read the neon letters above a gaudy front entrance. John parked the van in the lot reserved for workers and begrudgingly made his way to the source of his ruined evening. He did take a moment to admire his surroundings. The hotel was glamorous, with marble flooring and plants in golden pots scattered tastefully around the lobby, velvet chaises circled around a fireplace, and well-dressed men and women milled about. 

The woman at the front desk coughed, grabbing his attention. Her manicured nails drummed on the desk, and John knew she was getting impatient with the obviously out of place man gawking at her hotel. She gave him the room number and key and directed him to the lift. 

Even the inside of the lift was gaudy, a mirror made up the back wall, and the tile clicked under his feet. On one side of the lift, there was a cushioned bench, in case one of the guests got tired on the way to their floor. It oozed new money, and John couldn’t help the bad taste in his mouth. He could barely pay his bills and these people had couches in their lifts! 

He put his tool case down gingerly and pressed the correct floor on the button panel. Before the door could close completely a hand shot through it. The doors of the lift opened and John came face to face with the peculiar man he had ever seen. 

Dark tresses fell to his shoulders, and a multicolored coat wrapped around his lithe body, rings glinted on nail varnished hands, and velvet bell bottoms nearly swept on the floor. The effect was otherworldly, and John had the impression that he was in the presence of a fairy king. 

“Oh, hello darling.” The melodramatic voice matched the ensemble, and John caught a glimpse of too-large teeth. “Would you mind?” The man gestured to his toolkit.

“Oh. Oh! Of course not!” Heat rose in John’s face. He moved his toolkit from the center of the lift and stood awkwardly to the side, trying his best not to stare at the man.

“It seems as though we’re going to the same floor.” The man smiled a bit, and John couldn’t felt like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Yeah, I guess we are.” John rocked a bit on his heels, fighting the urge to make an excuse to bolt, job be damned. It was too late though, the lift started to move.

“My name is Freddie.” The man, Freddie, held out his hand for John to shake, and he did, hoping his palms weren’t too sweaty. 

“John, nice to meet you.” He wasn’t sure what it was about Freddie that put him so on edge, it felt like the man knew his deepest secrets just by looking at him. 

“Oh no, the pleasure is all mine.” There was that smile again, both putting John at ease and raising his hackles at the same time.

The stood in silence for a bit, John acutely aware of his own breathing, and the fact he probably smelled like insulation and wire lubricant. They were up to the 11th floor when the lift shuddered and ground to a halt with a screech. The lights went dark and the room went silent. 

Oh fuck. John thought.

“Oh fuck,” John said.

“John, what just happened?” Freddie sounded tense.

John giggled nervously, “Well Freddie, I think something has just gone very, very wrong with our lift.” 

John cursed his luck. Now, instead of curling up on his couch and watching TV, he was stuck in a tiny room with a stranger. The next time that he saw his boss he was going to kill him. That was if he ever saw his boss again.

“So what do we do? We can’t just stay here, what if the lift falls, or something catches fire, or what if they never find us, or they don’t even know something’s wrong!?” Freddie started hyperventilating, and John realized he was going to have to take charge of the situation.

“Hey, Freddie?” John tried to keep his voice as even as possible, even though he felt like panicking too, “You’re going to have to trust that everything will be okay. I fix things like this, it’s my job. You remember my bag of tools, right? I’m going to see if the emergency button on the lift works, and if it doesn’t I’ll see what I can do from here.” John hoped that Freddie could make out his face in the dark, see that what he was saying was true. 

“We’re going to be alright?”

“Freddie, I promise you we'll be alright. I’m going to get us out of this.” Freddie was breathing easier now, and the bench creaked as he sat down. John fumbled with his torch until he was able to turn it on. He scanned over the button panel until he found the emergency button. A friend who did lift maintenance had told him that when you press it a loud alarm was supposed to sound somewhere in the building, usually in the maintenance man’s office.

Once John pressed it he remembered that the maintenance man was out for today. So unless someone happened to hear it from his office, they were screwed. He couldn't let Freddie know that though, he didn't want to think about how the other would react if he knew there was a possibility no one would rescue them.

“Is someone coming now?” Freddie sounded close to tears.

“Of course someone's coming, I'm sure they'll get us out of here in a jiffy. Now I'm going to see what I can do with my tools to help us.” John glanced over at Freddie, and the man looked miserable, all otherworldly effect gone as he held on to the bench for dear life. John could see a mild green tinge to his skin that had him worried. He would be uncomfortably close to any vomit in the closed space. 

Sweeping the light around the rest of the lift yielded no good entry points to the inner workings, and John huffed. Stupid rich people and their need for everything to be streamlined. They’d have to wait for someone to notice something was wrong, and who knew how long that would be. They could be in here all night.

“Well it doesn't look like there’s anything I can do here, but I'm sure they're already fixing the problem.” John pressed the emergency button again for good measure.

“John?” Freddie’s voice was almost inaudible from his attempts to meld the pillows to his face.

“Yeah, Freddie?”

“Tell me a joke, a funny story, anything. Anything to get my mind off our veritable death trap.”

Well, they didn't have much else to do, did they? 

“Alright.” John sat down and tried to think, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Freddie groaned from his perch, “Not that old joke.”

“You still haven't answered though.”

Freddie turned to face John, “Alright, I’ll bite. Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“To cockle doodle doo something!” The joke was awful, but John couldn’t keep himself from laughing. 

“That is the absolute worst thing I've ever heard!” Freddie chucked one of the pillows at his face.

“Hey! Be careful with the money maker!” John chuckled and threw the pillow back at Freddie.

“And besides, chickens aren't the ones who cockle doodle doo, you're thinking of roosters.”

John snorted, “As if you know the difference.” 

“How dare you doubt my knowledge of chickens! I'll have you know I have a Ph.D. in barnyard animals!” 

“Wait, really?” He definitely didn’t expect that from the other man. 

“No, but I did share a flat with a biology student once. You’d be amazed at what you pick up, living in each other's pockets.”

John hummed at that, “Right, well now it’s your turn.”

“My turn? I didn’t know we were taking turns!”

“Well we are, and I had my turn so now it’s yours.”

“Alright, alright.” Freddie thought for a moment, “What’s the definition of an optimist?”

“I don’t know, what?”

“A rockstar with a mortgage.”

“And you said my joke was bad! That’s hardly better!”

“Normally, yes, but it came from my mouth so it’s wonderful.” Freddie looked pleased as a peacock. 

“You sure have a lot of nerve for someone dressed like a martian.”

“I’m wounded!” Freddie paused, a contemplative look washing over his face “John, you do know who I am, don’t you?”

“Should I? I just figured you were new money or crazy.”

“Well lucky for you, I’m both. My name is Freddie Mercury, I’m the singer for the band Queen.”

A moment of silence passed, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

“Obviously! Darling, we’re only shaping up to be the number one band in England, I’m sure you’ve heard of us.”

“Nope, not ringing any bells.”

“You hurt me so!” Freddie feigned like he was about to faint, falling back on his pillows and huffing.

“Oh shush, you. I do have one question though.”

“Hm?”

“Do you have a mortgage?”

“Darling, I have five.” Freddie smiled at that, and even in the dim lift, John was blinded by its brilliance. He could probably hold an entire room captive with that smile, and the full power was directed solely at him. His heart skipped a beat, or five. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, and John almost forgot to hit the emergency button again.

“What do you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry if I came off rude, darling. I was just wondering what you did for a living. From the toolkit, I’d guess... a plumber?”

“Close, I don’t have the ass for a plumber. I’m an electrician.”

Freddie paused, “That must be… fun?”

“You don’t have to pretend to be interested, Freddie. It kinda sucks. Well, not all of it, sometimes it’s nice, but then it sucks again.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I told you, you don’t have to pretend to be interested. It’s really boring.” John pressed the emergency button again. 

“Darling, I love hearing people bitch, and besides, if we’re going to be stuck in this lift I deserve to hear some drama, so spill.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be too bad if it weren’t for my coworkers, they’re awful. I’m not exactly manly, and with my hair, I’m sure you can guess the kind of comments I get.” John cringed as he remembered the catcalls he’d gotten before they’d gotten bored with him and the unfortunate incident with his hair. Some guy hadn’t liked how long it was and got a little too close with a blowtorch. He’d had to cut off most of it, and it had taken a year to grow back. “And then there’s my boss, who can’t keep his hands off my ass.”

“Tell me you electrocuted him, or whatever electricians do to their enemies.”

“I wish! But the pay is better than anywhere else so…” John waved his hands in the air and let Freddie connect the dots, “Besides, he keeps the other guys from messing from me too much, so I guess it's not too bad.”

“I’ll claw his eyes out for you if I ever see him.”

“But then that would ruin your manicure, and we can’t have that.”

“I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty when I need to. An old manager of ours once left me in a restaurant to foot the bill, and I threw a rock through his window.”

John laughed at that, “Of course you did.”

“What can I say, darling, that’s the rock and roll life.”

John remembered his brief attempt at the rockstar life, the sweaty school dances, lying about his age to play in bars, not being able to hear himself think over the hum of the speakers, but that was all behind him now. Now he played with electrical current in people’s crawlspaces. He sighed wistfully, “Is it fun?”

“It can be, especially when you’re performing or recording, but then you get bogged down by everything else.” A sour look passed over Freddie’s face, “Our bass player just quit because he swears he can go solo, the son of a bitch. Our manager is trying to get him back because we have a contract, but we don’t want him. We’re officially on the hunt for a new one if you know any.”

John sat in contemplative silence for a moment, deciding how he should phrase his next words. 

“I play bass.”

Freddie’s eyes shot up, nearly falling off the bench in excitement. “You do?! Well, why didn’t you say so earlier! You would be perfect for the band!”

“Wait, Freddie, I didn’t mean it like-” It was too late, Freddie had latched onto the idea and wasn’t letting go. John could almost see the gears turning in his head. 

“First I’d have to introduce you to Roger and Brian, but they’d love you, obviously. Then you could play a few shows with us, we’d win over the fans, because how could they resist you? After that it would move pretty quickly, you’d quit your job, slap your boss, and sign a contract. Johnny, darling, you could be living in a mansion by the end of the year!” Freddie was practically vibrating with excitement, and John hit the emergency button more urgently.

“Freddie, please you have to listen to me!” John had to practically shout to break the spell over Freddie. 

“Hm? What is it?”

“I didn’t mean that I’d join your band, just that if you needed a temporary bass player, I’d be willing. I’m not even that good.” John rubbed his arms to relieve the awkward air that had fallen over the lift. Not for the first time that night he cursed his luck. “Besides, I’m just an electrician. Aren’t you rock star types supposed to fall out of the sky or something?”

“Oh but John, you are not just an electrician. I won’t force you to join, but I think you’d be perfect.” Freddie dropped his voice until it was little more than a whisper, “Even if you don’t join, I’d like to keep in touch.”

John smiled at that, “Let’s start off with a few gigs, but no promises, alright? Just a temporary position for now. .”

“Alright, you win, temporary bass player. But do be warned that Roger and Brian may not let you go once they meet you. They have a habit of stealing pretty things.” Freddie 

John laughed, “Pretty? Are you flirting with me, Freddie Mercury?”

“Maybe, you'll have to go on a second date with me to find out.” Freddie got off his bench at that and sat down close to John.

“If this is what you call a first date, I don't even want to know what the second date consists of. Running over hot coals, wrestling alligators?”

“Not quite, that's the third date. I was thinking something more like dinner and a movie?”

“Sounds perfect.” John found himself grinning at the possibility. Freddie was one of the strangest people he’d ever met and he loved it. He would jump at any opportunity to get to know the other man better. Looking down at their hands, he noticed how close they were, and moved to intertwine them.

Freddie’s hands were just as contradictory as the man they belonged to, both calloused and delicate at the same time. John wondered for a minute if Freddie played piano, but his thought was cut short by noticing just how close he and Freddie were.

At this proximity, John could study the man in great detail. His eyes were framed by delicate lashes, and sharp cheekbones cut angles into his face. It all led to full lips, and a pink tongue darted out to wet them. Hot breath ghosted on his cheekbones, and John realized what was going on. All this was leading to a kiss. 

John leaned in closer until they were barely a hair’s breadth apart. A shiver ran through him as Freddie closed his eyes. John’s mind went quiet as he felt soft lips brush against his own. He sighed into the kiss, and tension he didn’t know he had been holding melted out of his muscles. Hands tangled into his hair and tugged gently. He gasped and Freddie took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

“Excuse me!”, The two men jumped apart as a voice rang out through the lift, “Excuse me! Shout if you can hear me!” 

“H-hello?!” John called out to the voice. He looked around the small space, but couldn't see where the voice could be coming from.

“We’re here to help! How many are in there?” John was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth and decided any help was good help. Even though the voice was probably them hallucinating due to oxygen deprivation or something.

“Just two! Me and another man!” John shouted back. Freddie gripped his arm nervously. 

“Alright, boys! You’re going to hear some awful noises, and the lift will start moving! Don’t panic, remain as still as possible until we can open the doors for you!” John let out a shaky sigh of relief. They were finally getting out! Oh. They were finally getting out. 

John glanced toward Freddie, saw how happy he looked at the prospect of finally getting out of here. His excitement was palpable, and a big toothy grin nearly split his face in two. It brought him back to earth. Freddie was a star in the making, and John was an electrician who let his boss touch his ass for money, whatever they had had in here would dissolve as soon as those doors opened. He would become John the electrician again, and Freddie would go off to his life, filled with music and debauchery, and never spare him another thought. 

The gears in the lift let out a low whine, and the space filled with the screech of machinery. The lift shuddered and began its rickety descent. With every foot they dropped, John could feel his heart falling with it. 

When they finally reached the ground floor the lift let out one last shuddering gasp, and the doors opened. Freddie ran out immediately and was met with a crowd of worried employees who surrounded him. Applause erupted from the crowd, and John was struck by how different this Freddie was to the man he had gotten to know. Gone was the excitable, insecure, beautiful man in the lift. Now he was a performer, an untouchable god, and John knew as Freddie let the maids fawn over him, that he was the last thing on the other man’s mind. 

He was grateful though, for the opportunity to know what lie belong the perfect faces of celebrities. A wretch like himself couldn’t ask for more. John gathered his toolbox and left the lift, glad that the crowd made him inconspicuous. He’d take what Freddie said to heart, the next time his boss put his hands on him he would stab him with a soldering iron, and if Freddie ever did call him up for a gig or two, he wouldn’t be able to say no. 

John was nearly out of the lobby when someone grabbed his arm. His first instinct was to swing his toolkit at the unknown assailant, but he was spun around before it could connect with anything. 

“Goodness, darling! I’ve fallen out of your favor so quickly?” Freddie gripped his arm tightly, and for a split second, John saw behind the mask. Freddie’s wide eyes searched his own, and the hold on his arm tightened. Freddie was afraid. But of what? John leaving? 

“Of course not, I just…” John trailed off as he tried to motion to the crowd surrounding them. The I didn’t want to be a bother was left unsaid. Freddie got the message though, because he pulled him closer, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Freddie whispered into John’s ear, “John, would you like to come to my room for a drink? Lord knows we both deserve it after our ordeal.” 

The Freddie’s breath on his ear sent a blush creeping up his neck, and John nodded weakly.

“Alright,” Freddie smiled and turned to the others in the lobby, “I’m going up to my room, I expect a thorough investigation into what happened with that lift. In the meantime, I am not to be disturbed.” 

The staff nodded sheepishly, and Freddie tugged him towards the stairway. Freddie smiled at him, “Let’s hope this goes better than our lift adventure, eh?”

John giggled nervously, feeling like a fish out of water. He floated up the stairs behind Freddie as though in a daze. 

In a flash, they arrived at Freddie’s room, and the fog in John’s mind cleared for a moment. He didn’t know anything about Freddie, not really, not nearly enough to warrant bedroom visits. Life or death lift situations were one thing, but being in such an intimate space with him when there wasn’t a possibility of them dying? It just didn’t make sense to John. He didn’t even know what Freddie’s intentions with him were. He’d invited him up for a drink, but who knows if that wasn’t a codeword for something else. John was completely and utterly out of his element. 

Before he could raise any kind of complaint though, Freddie got the door opened, and was pushing him through it. 

John was met with plush red carpet, velvet drapes, and the biggest bed he’d ever seen. 

“Oh… wow.” He was painfully aware of how out of place he looked in his work clothes. 

Freddie brushed by him, “Set your stuff down wherever you feel like. Would you like a drink?” He was rustling through a wet bar near his bedside table. “We have scotch, brandy, tequila, whatever you like.” Freddie flashed him a nervous smile, and John relaxed a bit. There was the man he got to know.

“I’ll have what you’re having, you probably know better than me what might be good.” John set his tools down near the door and wandered further in. He spotted a TV in the corner, maybe he could watch a show after all. 

Freddie handed him a glass of something. John took a sip and grimaced. Strong.

John made his way over to the TV, flicking at some of the switches. 

“Oh don’t bother with the television, darling, it broke earlier today. I sent for someone to come fix it but apparently, the maintenance man had the day off or something. They said they were going to call someone, but obviously, he didn’t come…” Freddie trailed off as he and John made eye contact, as he took in Johns tools as if seeing them for the first time, “Oh…”

Freddie, for his part, looked almost sheepish.

John giggled, the absurdity of the situation hitting him all at once. Once he started he couldn’t stop. Freddie blushed even deeper but started giggling too. Giggles turned into laughter until they were both clutching their sides, crying. 

John wiped at his eyes, “I hate you so much.” Another round of laughter consumed him.

“I deserve that.” Freddie looked a mess, with smudged eyeliner and red cheeks. He was beautiful. “I think I could think of something else to do to pass the time, since the TV’s not working, and you came all this way and all.” 

“Oh really?”  
***  
John groaned as a bead of sweat ran down his back, his arms ached from the position he was in, but he was so close. 

“Yes… yes, right there!” The muscles in his arms flexed as he strained them, “Yes! Almost!” From behind him, he heard Freddie gasp. 

Boom!

John recoiled his hands from the now smoking TV, “I think one of the tubes must have burst!”

Freddie sighed, they’d been trying to fix the TV for the last half hour, to no success. 

“You know, when I said had something in mind, this wasn’t exactly it, darling.”

John cocked his head to the side, not understanding what Freddie meant, “What do you mean?” He was here to fix the TV, the TV was getting fixed.

“I mean that, well, as lovely as you look on the ground, I’d much rather have you in my bed,” Freddie put his arms around him, and everything clicked into place. 

“Oh… Oh! Well, I can do that!”

Freddie had a fond look on his face, “Alright?”

John tugged the other man closer, “Alright.”


End file.
